It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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