WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
