my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
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Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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