census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
