You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize