i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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