You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
