So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
