I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
