**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
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