Betty ford says i'm here all night
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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