Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
