i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
