either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
