So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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