Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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