I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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