that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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