Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
