he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize