i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
