Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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