Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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