how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
