He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
