I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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