Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Operation Purity has been aborted
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
