Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
