normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
