I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
