she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
accomplished twins. life is a go
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize