It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
