I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize