Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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