I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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