i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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