at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
