I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
