on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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