Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
