Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize