It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
