I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
