You're completely useless in the revolution.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
