Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
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