sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize