He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
