The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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