The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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