This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
