the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
