we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It's never too late to be topless.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
