I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
