we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
